I Got the power #IWalkFreely
18 Aug 2016 - Kavyaa Rizal
He put his hand on my thighs throughout the whole journey, but I did nothing. I was nervous, scared, angry, all at the same time, but I did nothing. He got down on the same stop that I got down at, and sensing that he was following me, I ran as fast as I could until he was out of sight. I did NOTHING!
It was a microbus packed with people. So much that one had to breathe in the smell of sweat mixed with traces of female perfume, alcohol and cigarette instead of air. I felt someone rubbing their groin against my butt as I was standing. I could have turned around, screamed and slapped the person, but I just moved some steps away from that place and did NOTHING!
I get into the bus; it was all empty except for a group of 6-7 men in their thirties I suppose. As I pass through them to occupy an empty seat at the back, I feel someone pinching my butt. It was so sudden, painful, infuriating and embarrassing. I could have turned around, punched the person who did it on the face and broke his nose, but I stayed quiet and occupied a seat. I did NOTHING!
These are some real-life experiences of women who travel (or have traveled) in a public vehicle. Some have been shared by friends and some are my own. Often, I tend to think about the times that I have been through these horrifying experiences. The ones who have been through this would clearly know how frustrating it is to be treated like an object to taunt, have fun with. What’s more infuriating is not being able to reply back to them or to take a stand for yourself, enduring it all the way. This feeling breaks you up, eats you alive and even with that, you manage to put a smile on your face like nothing has happened. People around you give you the tag of an arrogant, rude woman and you don’t try to explain because they wouldn’t understand.
Even if you’re one of those who have learned to take a stand for themselves, and vent out their anger upon the shit-headed perverted minds (excuse my use of language here), get ready to be treated with stares and whispers from the pathetic audience (to whom it may concern) who judge you or are entertained by what’s going on, instead of giving you a big round of applause.
Not that I blame only the society for this, but it’s us individuals who need to learn to fight, to help ourselves. I know how hard it is (been there, done that) to counter-attack the person who attacked you (thanks to fear and a lack of confidence, thanks to Crime Patrol, thanks to the people who stuffed us with the “keti manche bhayepachi estai huncha, chod deu” philosophy). I still remember a question that was asked on a Facebook page: “What would you do if you were a parent?” to which I had replied, “I would send my kids to self-defense classes.” It would be good to have a karate kid of your own, wouldn’t it?
It took me long to build up courage, to realize that I have got the power in me and that I should stop expecting others to be good. It took me long to become the strong person that I am today. What I have realized is that you don’t even need to try so hard. For example, I had a similar encounter about a year ago. A man in his 50’s probably, sat beside me on a public vehicle and was very keen to poke on my breast repeatedly, with his elbow. I politely told him “Uncle, afno haat lai samhalera rakhnus“ in a voice loud enough for everyone in the vehicle to hear. In a second, he got up and jumped off the moving vehicle. Not bad, eh?
What I am trying to say with all these rants is that YOU are the one! YOU are the one who can bring about change. YOU are the one who has got the power to end this. YOU are the hope and YOU are the danger. You’ve got the power. Utilize it. Be a fighter, not a victim.
I was walking on the road when someone put their hands on my shoulders. I turned around to see if it was someone I knew but instead got a “k cha soltini?” from the stranger. I punched him on the back as a reply, and the guy left, without turning back. Today, I did SOMETHING
~This blog is cross-posted from Stuti’s blog NepaliTantrums. Stuti is a volunteer with Code for Nepal.